Opinions & Ideas
THE HOGANSVILLE HOME NEWS
USPS 620040
Phone (700) 846-3188. Fax (706) 846-2206
IE O. Box 426
Hogansvflle, Georgia 30Zt0
Here's What a Man
Can Always Do Better
I guess all men are the
same. We don't believe in
going to the doctor, or asking
for directions and under no
circumstances will ever stop
being competitive. Those are
just a few of the things that
apparently make us male.
A man can cut himself
extremely deep or take off a
huge chunk of skin and we
won't go to the doctor or the
hospital. Something. in our
genes tell us that no matter
how bad we are bleeding or
hurt, it can be fixed with a lit-
tle duct tape.
That's the reason the
females outlive us, I guess.
They are smart enough to go
to the doctor when something
is wrong with them. A guy
will have to be on his death
bed practically before he'll
even think of going to the doc-
tor. Notice I said, "think about
it." Heck, most of us would=
n't go then, but we reach a
point when we are so weak
that we know that we can't
fight the wife anymore, so we
simply just give up and go.
Once we do see the doc-
tor, we won't get half of our
medicines filled, if any. Heck,
I've got prescriptions that
date back at least a year that..
I've never taken to the drug
store.
If we do break down and
purchase the prescribed
medications, we only take
them until we are feeling bet-
ter. We very seldom take all
the prescribed medicine.
The other day, I found a
bottle of pain pills a doctor
prescribed to me in 2001. The
prescription called for 15
tablets, there were still 12 of
them in the bottle.
AS FAR AS asking for
rlll
I was in my prime I could lift
double that."
Now we are on our way
to the chiropractor so we can
walk again.
Also at that age we real-
ize we can't compote in foot-
ball or other contact sports
anymore. So, we take up golf,
play with all the other old
guys that don't get out much
and brag about what a low
score we shoot. That story
usually matches the one
about the fish that got away.
Well, maybe they are not
alike. In the fish tale, the fish
gets bigger while the score
gets lower in the golf tale.
FOR WHATEVER rea-
son, God saw fit to make us
this way. We can't help it. It's
just the way we are built.
Ironically, for some rea-
son, women don't do stupid
things like the ones men-
tioned above. Women only
have one problem. They all
believe that they can change
a man.
"He'll be a better man
after we marry. I'm going to
change him." It takes a
divorce for them to realize
they can't.
Now don't get me wrong,
I'm not blaming God for the
shortcomings of men. After
all, we got this way after tak-
ing a bite of the apple and we
all know that story. So women
are just as much to blame for
as
PAGE 4-A - HOGANSVII2~ HOME NEWS - THURSDAY, JUNE 24, 2004
When I Noticed the Calendar
From Lends Grizzard's
co//ection "/fLove Were Off,
I'd Be About a Quart Low"
Written in 1979
I first noticed there was
something special about girls
when they put up the new cal-
endar at Bohannon's Service
Station in Moreland.
Bohannon's was a gathering
place for the town's menfolk,
who came to watch Bogator
Green, the. world-famous
auto mechanic, install new
manifolds and to talk about
women.
I had listened intently to
their jokes and comments,
but was not yet well-versed
enough in such areas of
knowledge to understand
their meaning.
The standard greeting
between the older boys and
the men always seemed to be
the question, "Gettin' any?"
I thought they were talk-
ing about fishing, but I did
begin to get somewhat suspi-
cious when Shorty Knowles
answered one day by saying,
"Not much. My wife's done
cut me down to twice a week."
"That's pretty bad,
Short3,," somebody spoke up.
"I guess I ought to count
my blessings," he replied.
"She's done cut two other
fellers clean out."
I ALSO NOTICED that
whenever Ronnie
Bodenhammer came by the
station, the men would circle
around him and he would hold
their attention for some time
with what I learned later were
tales of countrywide roman-
tic involvement. Ronnie also
had a habit of scratching his
privates during these ses-
sions, and one of my older
friends later explained that
was an indication he was "get-
tin' a lot." That is when I threw
my fishing theory complete-
ly out the window.
But I digress. The new cal-
endar, which was sent to
Bohannon's each year by a
parts company, always
attracted a lot of attention. It
was sort of like the opening
of a new showing at an art
gallery.
The first year I remem-
ber taking more than a casu-
al glance at the picture that
accompanied the calendar
was when I was seven. The
woman pictured on the cal-
endar was without benefit of
any sort of clothing. She was
bent over and smiling as she
winked at the camera. By
today's bare-it-all standards,
there was not really much to
see; but in 1953, the photo on
the calendar drew gawkers
from as far away as
Grantville to the south and
Arnco-Sargent to the north,
and somebody said a man
came all the way from Griffin
to see it.
I QUIETLY and patiently
waited until their was no one
tall standing in front of me so
I could see the picture. I
looked at it for a time, and I
did feel some strange sensa-
tion befalling me. It was as if
I were feeling some rare
excitement but could
identify the source
I was c
sy, however,
men noticed me staringJ
picture.
'~Vhatchu lookin'
.he asked.
The other men
him started laughing,
was thoroughh
and ran all the way
knew, however, I had
perhaps my first
some wildly delicious
andl
more.
...to be continued
week
BY SPECIAl.
WITH HIS WIDOW, DEDRA,
HOME NEWS IS CARRYING
ED COLL'. LNS BY THE LATE[
GRIZZARD, ~MO GREW
BY MORELAND, AND
MOST WIDELY READ
WRITER
BOOKS AND TAl~KS ARE
PRODUCTIONS, EO. BOX
ATLANTA, GA 31118-1266
BOOK AND MUSIC 5
WIDE.
Our Students Should Be High Priori
Many prospective stu-
dents in the state have been
refused acceptance to the
University of Georgia in
recent years in spite of an
excellent grade point aver-
age and a high SAT or ACT
score. This doesn't quite seem
fair to me.
The Georgia State Lottery
has made it possible for many
students in this state the
opportunity to attend college
that might not otherwise.
Nothing wrong with this,
but this has contributed to
overcrowding in all our state
colleges, including the
University of Georgia.
Many prospective stu-
dents whose parents are
Georgia graduates have been
turned down in recent years.
Many of these prospective
students had high grade point
averages and high SAT or
ACT test scores and were still
turned down. Something is
wrong here.
Not that the fact your par-
ents went to Georgia should
give you any lever-
for the University to win
friends and influence people.
I can certainly understand
why some people I know who
were once great Bulldog fans
are now bitter.
WHEN I first enrolled at
Georgia as a 16 year old fresh-
man in June of 1943 we were
in the middle of World War
II. We had only 3,000 students
and there was no shortage of
dormitory rooms or class-
room space. The only boys on
campus were ldand 17 year
old kids like me and 4 Fs who
were deferred from the draft.
Tuition in those days was
unbelievable. On the day I
registered my mother gave
me $60.
It cost $45 for three five
hour courses per quarter,
leaving me with $15 to pay
for used books at the book
store. The only time I had to
ask for more money was
when I had to buy new books.
Today, even with tuition
costs unbelievably high, and
still rising, facilities at
It seems to me our:
legislature would
involved so that the
classroom space and
fled faculty is
meet this critical need.
should be a high priority.
Requiring
attend their first year
campus in order to
more room on main
could be one solution.
THE ONLY exce,
leges are overcrowded.
A UND~R now:~:~6n
many books are $200 each. College sports
Could it be in the near future would "go to pot" if
we will have no freshman on
main campus like it was in
pre-war days.
Before the war all girls at
UGA attended class at
Normal Town, some two
miles west of main campus.
This separation wasn't
done because of overcrowd-
ing in those days, but to give
the girls time to mature
before turning them loose on
wild
were kept off main
their first year in school
We must make planS l
do everything
provide facilities and
ty to allow our instate
dents to attend our state:
ported schools
These instate
are ours and we must
for their educational
one way or another.
rate as a high
